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by Ziera117



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Afterlife fic, Angsty Epilogue type thing, Because I needed closure, Gen, Severus in the afterlife, Snape's Death and onward, angsty fluff stuff 'n' things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziera117/pseuds/Ziera117
Summary: When Severus finally hears her voice, every muscle in his body freezes. He never thought he would hear it again.





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**Author's Note:**

> *Pokes head into this fandom* Hello? Anyone still around? *waves* 
> 
> Soooo I just needed closure after reading the Harry Potter books- and yes, I know I'm late to the party haha. GOSH. My heart hurts. ANyway, probably the most conflicted feelings I have, along with a lot of the fandom, center on Snape. So here's an epilogue/style one shot? Because everything hurts and I don't even know haha. 
> 
> Forgive mistakes, this was written a while ago, and I have not seen the movies-- only read the books. But if anyone does read this by chance, I hope you enjoy!

Darkness thickens. It seeps in through the cracks of unsteady vision, drowns out all the light.

_Death._

A journey all must take, in the end.

Harry Potter kneels beside him, and Snape releases all the secrets he kept locked away for the last seventeen years— free of them at last.

For a moment, true terror had gripped his heart, when Severus thought that he might die without fulfilling his purpose—without relaying to Harry what he needed to know… but he was here.

It hadn’t all been for nothing.

Harry, along with his friends Hermione and Ron, gaze at him icily, and he understands. To them? He’s not a man who’s endeavored to protect them all their years at Hogwarts, a man who respected Dumbledore.

They see him as a killer.

Snape doesn’t ask—doesn’t expect—forgiveness.

Instead, his gaze drags over Harry, Harry’s eyes. Vivid green…. _her_ eyes. Snape can’t think of any other picture he would rather accompany in his last seconds of consciousness.

He isn’t afraid.

He isn’t _afraid._

_He… isn’t…_

* * *

 

Light floods everywhere. It shines through the cracks of steadying eyes, chases away all the darkness.

He’s dead—Snape knows he must be. Memories surface of how it felt, lying there alone, his lifeblood gleaming off the cold tiles.

And yet… it’s different here, wherever _here_ is.

“Severus,” says a familiar voice, causing him to freeze. It sounds older than he’s heard it in years, laced with something like regret. “I wondered if you might join me here.”

Snape is careful when he turns, dark gaze rich with skepticism— because it _can’t_ be him— but it can be. It is.

Two piercing blue eyes peer at the potions master through half-moon spectacles, the aged face curtained by snowy white hair. Albus Dumbledore stands beside him, a specter in the haze of light.

“Dumbledore,” Severus murmurs, and though anger, guilt and relief all trigger at once, his face remains placid. At least, save for the very small crease that appears between Snape’s brows as they draw together. “So this is death?”

Albus breaks into one of his signature smiles, the somber, sad kind that hints he knows more than he’s telling. Snape hates that smile. 

“Something of the sort, I suppose, yes.”

A sudden sense of foreboding creeps over Snape. He tries to ignore it, allowing himself to fully accept the reality of this… life after death.

“So it’s over, then,” he says, more to himself.

“Not quite _over_.”

The voice that joined them was not Dumbledore’s, though Snape found it just as familiar. Deeper, perhaps, than when he had known its owner, but distinct all the same. Years ago, it might’ve caused his muscles to tense and his teeth to clench—but the sound held no revulsion for him now.

James Potter.

He was leaning against a large trunk of a willow tree, which seemed to have materialized out of nowhere. Glasses, similar Harry’s, sat crooked upon the bridge of his nose, while the man’s messy dark hair fell in all directions.

Snape feels it again, and this time memory of rivalry, dislike and even hatred play in his mind; though for some reason again, it’s different. Fresh hatred won’t kindle in his heart. These feelings in memory are just that—memories, distant glimpses of a life left behind.

All he feels now, he realizes, is a sense of emptiness as the two gaze at each other… and perhaps the slightest twinge of guilt. There’s more of course, but not anything he’s willing to sort through.

So he waits— until Potter does something extraordinary. He slowly extends a hand; an invitation, Snape understands, to put all wrongs behind them.

He scrutinizes the hand.

An opportunity of redemption with at least one person who had hated him in life, and whom he had hated in return.

“Don’t get me the wrong way, Snape, you were a bloody prat in life. But…for everything else you did,” James says in a quiet, serious voice that differs from the tone of his earlier jibe—perhaps feeling the need to explain his outstretched hand. “for everyone you saved. For Harry.”

Snape has a snide comment ready about how humility didn’t suit the magnificent James Potter, but finds he has the self-control to remain quiet.

He is acutely aware of the gravity of James’ invitation, of what it implied— not only absolution of sins… but of James’ own murder.

It’s undeserved. He’s already accepted that he won’t ever escape from the vice grip of his choice’s consequences.

Despite this… Severus hesitates a moment before overcoming his better judgement.

He accepts the hand in his own wordlessly, allowing himself to be freed of the hate that had defined him for so many years.

 

* * *

 

 

Severus doesn’t want to see her. Or does he?

He knows she’s there somewhere. If he’s met James and Albus and the rest, she must be. Even though he wanted nothing else for the last twenty years than to see her, just one more time— he can’t help the foreign, nervous energy pulsing through his veins. All the voices in his head, pointing out his flaws.

Snape is the reason her husband fell at the hands of Voldemort, is the reason _she_ …

…it’s his fault.

He’d been enamored with darkness in his youth, the only constant companion of childhood—and that fascination lead him on a sinister path that he will regret for the rest of his conscious existence.

Everything since that fatal mistake was Snape’s attempt to right the wrong. To be in the darkness, but not a part of it— to protect the light and good so many had died for.

Would it be enough, in her eyes? Everything he’s done to get here?

 _No_ , Snape decides. _No_ , _it won’t be enough_.

But he’s already accepted that long ago. Snape can’t wash away the mistakes made in the ignorance of youth. He can’t bring James and Lily Potter back to life again—he can’t undo what was already done; but in life, even so, he never stopped seeking atonement.

 

* * *

 

 

When he finally hears her voice, every muscle in his body freezes. He never thought he would hear it again.

Snape feels many things, but most of all, _anguish_ — pointed, vivid anguish.

This is not at all like the dulled memories of anger and hatred towards James and Albus, ones he was able to let go of and be free from.

The intensity of it takes him aback; as if every emotion he ever veiled, every ounce of guilt he internalized for her death, every silent, half sob heaved from his chest when he felt Lily’s lifeless body in his arms—were packed into one, surging sensation that’s nearly too powerful to withstand.

 _Lily_ is behind him, and at first, he doesn’t turn.

“Sev.”

He can’t read the tone of her voice—though after what seems like an eternity, Snape steels himself and turns to face her.

Her green eyes fix on him, large and as beautifully vibrant as they had been in her youth.

Lily Potter’s features were crafted stone, impossible for Severus to decipher her true temperament—but he can tell it’s a purposeful expressionlessness, because he himself is no stranger to the tactic. She’s hiding something; a strong feeling that, whether forgiving or hateful, remains a mystery to him.

“I didn’t want you to be here,” She says in a matter-of-fact tone, gazing into his eyes without flinching. He doesn’t respond, face blank. Snape is too practiced, too accustomed to guarding himself in the presence of danger to put down the defenses now—and he realizes this might be the most difficult test of his abilities he will ever face.

He can’t speak to her; he’s not sure what will happen if he tries—all he can do is wait, brace himself, for Lily’s reaction.

The last time they’d spoken with each other alone, they’d been on the opposite sides of Gryffindor tower in the middle of the night, though more than a layer of stone separated their hearts.

She hadn’t forgiven him then. Why would she forgive him now?

Severus braces himself for the worst.

“I didn’t want you to be here,” Lily repeats, and Snape forces himself to keep eye contact through sheer force of will, wanting desperately to withdraw. But then—is it a trick of the light, or does he see her lip quiver? “ _so_ _soon_.”

Something unwelcome strings his dark eyes. Only if one were standing close would they notice the tears brimming his vision, not yet spilling over. He allows himself, one wall at a time, to lower the defenses of his mind.

“I’m sorry,” Snape murmurs, echoing the apology he made to her so many years ago.

Angry tears form a trail down her cheeks, and he doesn’t know what to expect when she steps closer—anticipating some sort of attack. He tenses; yet, she doesn’t lift her hand to strike.

There’s a flash of blurred green and soft red—and she does something beyond anything Severus had ever expected or anticipated in his wildest thoughts. Lily’s arms are around him in a firm embrace before he can fully process the motion.

When his brain catches up, however, guilt immediately outweighs his longing to hold her, and he tries to push away—causing her grip to tighten. “Don’t,” he said. “James… Harry. _You_. It’s my fault. Don’t.”

“I forgive you,” she says, and there’s pain in her tone, indicating it was no small feat to do so, but the words are also paired with something else. He might call it affection—but, having little experience with the sentiment, Severus can’t tell for sure.

His cold voice starkly contrasts the warmth in hers when he answers. “You shouldn’t.”

“Good thing it’s not up to you, then.”

He doesn’t move; afraid that, if he does, Lily will disappear, and it will all have been a dream— but her forehead settles in the crook of his neck, and her hands rest on his shoulders, keeping him close. _You can’t touch a dream_ , he reminds himself. “I don’t understand—“

“You don’t bloody have to.” Lily pulls back enough to look at him, and the hesitant smile that forms on her lips is a soothing balm to his fractured soul. “You did some good in the world. Harry’s _alive_ because of you, Sev. Time and time again, you saved his life, and for that, I _forgive_ you.”

He doesn’t quite know how to respond. None of this is playing out in the way he had predicted. How is one meant to accept something of which they are so gravely and inexplicably undeserving?

Finally, Snape sighs.  

Just as he surprised himself by taking James Potter’s hand despite a lifetime of resentment, he lifts his arms and returns Lily's embrace, despite a lifetime of guilt—and it’s the bravest thing he’s ever done. Strands of black hair fall into his vision as he shakes his head.

“ _Potters_ ,” Severus remarks with affectionate incredulity, though his voice shakes and the unshed tears overflow at last. “What fools you are.”

 

* * *

 

  _"In your final breath believe, you're not alone."_

**Author's Note:**

> Title and ending quote derived from the gorgeous song "Home" by The Dear Hunter, definitely worth a listen. 
> 
> (Disclaimer: none of the characters or mine, etc, etc. Also! The "Death-- a journey all must take, in the end" line is NOT mine either, haha. I'm not exactly sure where the original source is? But if you know and want to share, I'll add credit here.)
> 
> One-shot based off of this LOVELY fanart (that is also not mine), link here with credit written on the art:  
> http : // cs628322.vk.me/v628322281/26440/FDexdn_lztA . jpg
> 
> Thanks for reading! Y'all are wonderful. Leave me a comment either if you want to say something about the fic, or if you want to rant about your feelings, both are perfectly acceptable and I will award you cookies. <3


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